Malentendidos

No matter how hard I try or how much my Spanish is improving, I am still constantly making errors and learning from them every day. My favorite malentendido (misunderstanding) of today goes something like this:

First, you must know something about the Spanish language. They distinguish feminine and masculine words with the change of a simple letter: o for masculine and a for feminine. For example, chico means boy and chica means girl. In addition, if you have more than one, the masculine form is dominant. Therefore, while chicas represents only a group of all girls, chicos could mean a group of boys, OR a group of boys and girls. Of course there are always exceptions to the rule, but it’s pretty easy if you have a basic understanding of gender categorization.

For my particular case, let’s examine the word for teacher. A male teacher is a profesor and a female teacher is a profesora.While profesoras means a group of female teachers, profesores can refer to a group of all male OR a group of both male and female teachers.

It may seem confusing at first since we don’t distinguish many masculine and feminine words in the English language. However, any first year Spanish student knows and understands this rule as their profesores drill it into their brains over and over again. I am very well aware of the importance of gender categorization, but everyone makes mistakes once in a while.

Well, outside of the teacher’s lounge, there is a sign for aseos profesores – teachers’ restroom. Seeing that sign outside the room, I assumed (yes I know, assume makes an ass out of u and me) that this was a special bathroom for teachers not to be used by students. Well, I’m a teacher, I’m special, I can use this bathroom, right? I obliviously used this restroom today. Twice. I’m sure you’ve figured out my malentendido by now.

Aseos profesores are bathrooms for MALE professors.  Aseos profesoras are bathrooms for FEMALE profesors. Had I walked a little further down the hall and saw that I had two options, I probably would have made the right choice. But I didn’t.

I should have been tipped off when I heard a male professor walk in, stop, and walk out, probably frightened/confused by the pretty sandals and red toenail polish in the first stall. Furthermore, the urinal I noticed on my way out should have been a dead giveaway. I remember thinking, oh hey, that’s weird; I guess it’s true that they’re more laid back and comfortable here in Spain. They do have nude beaches, anyway… Still not realizing my mistake, I used the restroom AGAIN after lunch and walked right out into a group of teachers.

No one said anything until I was halfway down the hall, when my bilingual coordinator discretely came up to me and pointed out my mistake. I was temporarily mortified, but quickly laughed it off. To make it even more hilarious, the place where she stopped to talk to me was literally right in front of the female restroom that I had failed to see previously. Good job, me.

Misunderstandings occur at least once a day. The other day I noticed a “centro de salud” and thought it was the “welcome center.” Not sure at all how I came to think that, but  I almost went in until I saw the ambulance and realized it was the “health center.” Duh.  It’s even worse when you have a misunderstanding when actually talking to a native Spanish speaker. At first, I was embarrassed and would sometimes just nod my head and say “sí.” This is the absolute worst thing you could do because you don’t know what you’re saying yes to. It also makes you look like an ass. I did this the other day with a complete stranger. (To be fair, I was tired and my brain hurt from thinking in Spanish.) A man said something to me in the street after I dropped my keys. Even though he repeated it twice, I didn’t understand, but I just nodded and said “si” and started to walk away. He said “no no no” and looked really confused. When I still didn’t get it, he got this look on his face like he had just realized that a) I’m foreign b) I’m deaf or c) I’m really dumb. After looking at me funny, he slowly said “Me llamo Joaquin”. To make myself look even dumber, I reached out my hand for a handshake. Here it is custom to give a kiss on each cheek when meeting someone. I definitely should know better by now. I still don’t know what was said, but I know better for next time not to pretend to understand. Pepe has gotten to know me so well that when I nod my head, he knows whether or not I actually get it (apparently I’m a bad liar). Most people are very patient and will slow down, pronounce (big deal since the cadiz/ubrique accent literally leaves off consonants making it very difficult to understand) and explain things better once they get to know me. There’s no shame in asking someone to slow down or repeat!

We English speakers make mistakes regularly, and often times it’s embarrassing. However, our native Spanish speaking friends are capable of having misunderstandings in English as well. Today in one of my art classes, we were learning basic vocabulary for art tools used in the classroom. Number 2 on the list was “eraser: A piece of rubber or plastic used to rub out / wipe / erase something.” When I got to the 4^th word of the definition, “rubber” the class burst out laughing. Though their English is not very good, they learned from Great Britain vocabulary that a “rubber” is a “condom”. Out of that whole phrase, they all thought I was talking about condoms. I somehow managed to keep my cool on that one and not giggle along with the kids.

I’m sure there will be more misunderstandings and many more not-understanding-anything-at-alls. I’ve learned not to be embarrassed or self-conscious because it’s normal; every day is a learning experience. Sometimes I think my brain might explode from the massive amount of knowledge it’s absorbing daily! Though it can be overwhelming and utterly exhausting at times, in the end it feels absolutely amazing to watch myself learn and grow a little bit every day.

Abrazos